Taking a break from life

The past few weeks have been really hectic. I needed to take a break, a break from thinking.

Research needs a lot of thought. Both when I have to come up with solutions, and when I have to implement them. Just keeping track of what various parts of a two hundred thousand line codebase do, and how a change interacts with the rest of the system is hard.

What ails me more is that type of thinking that in my opinion is not very useful. When I am alone, my mind's chatter is worse that a monkey's. When I read a book, say "India after Gandhi," I dream about how I would have drafted a better Constitution. At other times, like with "The End of Poverty", I feel lost. I can't even offer a solution. I fondly hope these problems do not have to exist.

Then there are the thoughts about myself. Without any clarity, I ponder what I will be doing in the immediate future and beyond. Or, I get submerged in some unpleasant past.

I know what taking a break (while being in Austin) would usually be like. I'd get up late, browse the web and be entertained by the never-ending stream of information it has to offer. By the time I would finish reading various political blogs in the US, friend's blogs, Indian blogs, and refresh reddit for the umpteenth time, I would feel so bad at myself for wasting time. It would be late in afternoon before I would get to eat breakfast. And then there are enough football games till late into the night -- after all this is November.

I wanted it to be different this time. I took a long, relaxing shower, had brunch and then stepped out an hour before noon. It was a gorgeous day today. Clear skies, with temperature in the high fifties, the shining sun made me so cheerful. I went to a nearby park, and sat there in solitude. Not taking my phone or iPod meant I was cut away from the rest of the world (how low a bar I have). There were not very many others. A handful were walking their pets; there was the occasional biker, both young and old. And the picture perfect family, a couple with two young kids and a pet. They were a joy to behold.

My purpose there was to not think about anything. I especially wanted to curb those thoughts that bring a wrinkle on my forehead. Even when we are asleep we are a slave of our thoughts. When we are awake we are bombarded by them. I wanted to break free for some time. Initially, it was difficult. But slowly I could come up with ways to stick with just one pleasant thought, like a beautiful tree in front of me. Or, I would hold on to the thought that I was conscious of the fact that I was not thinking anything else. There were a few moments when I had nothing in mind. Overall, I felt accomplished.

When I came home I saw I had spend four hours outdoors. I was surprised. I did not expect I'd last more than an hour. I felt relieved, relaxed, and energized.

If you want to to take a break, try what I did. And, do let me know how you felt at the end of it.